It’s late at night, you can’t sleep, and this has been going on for weeks. You can’t remember the last time you had a restful night’s sleep. You’re frustrated. You want to be able to wake up refreshed and relaxed, but instead, you barely scrape by on a few hours each night, if that.
You have been caring for your elderly mother. Maybe you never thought that this would be your life when you were younger, but here you are, taking care of the woman who raised you, cared for you, and supported you throughout your life. You couldn’t possibly turn your back on her and say no.
You might have siblings who live nearby or on other ends of the country, but whether they are close or far away, no one else seems to be stepping up to help. You feel isolated, and alone, and are worn out from the constant stress of being a family caregiver.
You never thought about assisted living.
In the beginning, once you realized your mother was struggling with Activities of Daily Living, needed help remembering or keeping track of medications or appointments, struggled to drive, and finally gave up, and so forth, you didn’t think twice. You never considered any other Assisted Living option other than being there for her.
At first, it was simple. She only lived a couple of miles away from you, so how hard would it be to just stop by after work or once the kids went off to school? It was relatively simple enough, but that was a long time ago. Even if it was only a few months, that can seem like an eternity when you’re constantly struggling with stress.
In most likelihood, though, it’s been a year or more. During that time, you have seen the progression, the slide down that steep slope where she needs more and more assistance. You found yourself having to stop by more frequently, giving up many things you once enjoyed, and wishing you could have a moment’s peace.
Even though you never thought about assisted living before, it’s time to think about it now. There are some amazing benefits that assisted living can offer, and one that is too often overlooked is called respite care services.
What is respite care at assisted living?
Most Americans think about assisted living as a permanent or, at the very least, long-term solution. They assume that their aging loved one would need to have up their apartment, or condo, or sell their house because they are going to move into this new community and not return home again.
That may be the case for many, but for a quality assisted living community that does offer respite care services, it is a short-term solution. Some facilities may allow seniors to sleep at their facility, be picked up in the morning, go back home or to a senior center, and then return in the evening once more. Others may offer a few days of stay each week. Some may even offer a couple of weeks at a time. This latter option is ideal for caregivers who just need a break, are going away on business, or need a vacation without the rigors and stress of being primary caregivers.
How do you talk about this with your elderly mother?
First, learn as much as you can about assisted living. Take a tour or speak to an administrator. Then, be honest. Talk about the stress, how it is impacting your health and your personal life, and how she only needs to try this for a short time or even just overnights so you can get a good night’s rest knowing she is safe and sound.
You may be surprised that instead of an angry retort she welcomes this new revelation and possibility.
If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living in Collinsville, IL, or surrounding areas, please contact the caring staff at Knollwood Retirement Community today at (618) 226-5755
Offering seniors age 65 and older a wealth of amenities to retain as much independence as they are able, with support, in a home-like environment in our supportive living community.
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